Th' Lady ,

Joey , fifteen.
Single yet Unavailable.(:

Spoken ;

Baby, I swear you're all that I ever need.

Love doesn't need any judgement,
cause if you judge someone,
you won't have th time t love them.

Girls can do things I can't do,
Girls can give you memories I can't give,
but no girls can do th things I can do, I swear.
And definitely my love for you will never lose t any other girls out there.

Wishes ,

My first Tatto at th back my hip.
Never, never t quarrel with Love again. ):
New handphone.
Big big looney tunes toys.
Elmo Balloon.
TinyTiny Elmo toys.
Red roses.
Another day out with Love.
Movie outing with Love.
Ear piercings.
Black Cardigan.
Slim down.
Heels for Myking&I outing.
Tapered Jeans.

Chats,



Credits,

Designer ; Joey. (:
Music ; Only reminds me of you - MYMP.

Stories,

Thursday, April 26, 2007

We'll both be someone more than playmates,

maybe it's time i speak my point of view.
1) me posting all this in my blog. is because, like what i've said. it's my life that i'm leading. it's the fact that i'm leading a life like this when i cannot even have the boy whom i like. so no deny about it. life sucks nowadays, and sometimes i really would wish to end it all. because it seemed meaningless.
2) she's been reading my blog i guess, but i will still chose to post what my feelings were at the point of time, because, it's just simply the truth.
3) it's obvious that i wants him for a stead, it's obvious what. and there's no faking around here. cause this is all the truth.
4) sometimes, i find myself such a fool. doing all those things to him. when in actual fact, his feelings were only for her. i regretted wasting my time&effort to go down to longjohn's everyday to see him. i felt like i'm such a fucker. why am i doing all this?
& i deserved all this, just because ilove him too much.

sometimes, i really felt like a fucker. falling out with my sisters just because of him. thinking of disowning my god-daughter because of him. eating longjohn's every single day without fail, just because of him. who knows how much fucking$$ i've spent eating it every single day. eating it when i'm healthy, eating it when i fell sick, eating it although i'm having throat infection, having it even when i'm down with a fever.

friends often ask me,
"you've done so much for him, what did she do? did she do something like you?"
and i can only greet them back with somewhat called a smile.
because, you two have not met before.

it just felt fucking wrong.

and i regretted finding out her blog somehow. at least, that would save me all the miseries that i'm suffering right now/.

if __ presumed that i know nothing at all, then tell me what's happening right now.
i can't live without him.
right now, i'm trying hard to breathe, even without him.
you know how hard is that?
i'm doing so with tears accompanying me to sleep everynight.
sometimes, i teared till i fell asleep.
but who fucking cares, who fucking knows?

everynight waiting for his call is tiring, very very tiring.
lastnight, he just called for a fucking 2mins29secs. and dint call back after.
know how hard it is for me to take it lying down. and act as though nothing has happened in school?
fuckit.

but whatever it is, given a choice again, i would still choose to know him, i would still choose to fall in love with him. and in future when i'm able to take it all lying down, i would know. i once loved a guy so much that i'm willing to do all the things that i've done for him for the past few months.

anyways,
if she happens to pass by my blog or whatsoever,
the only thing i can say to her is;
if you really love him, if you are willing to do anything just for him, if you are loving him as much as i do, i will by all means leave his world and your world as well. be it takin my life or whatever it is, i will leave. and not bother you people anymore. but if you don't, let him go. because i do not want to see him suffer. even when you let him go, and his answer is not me. at least i know he wont suffer like what i'm suffering right now. but i don't blame you, because this is after all the decision he made. (will sorting things out seemed to help?)

*there's no use saying sorry anymore, cause the wound got too deep inside.
tearing everynight seemed to be the only solution to all the questions in my mind.

♥MuchLoved.