everything has ended lastnight, i guess.
lastnight was terrible.
dont ask me why.
spent like fewhours ____ again all till 4 lastnight.
crying till fuck until 4 then sleep seemed to be like, everyday routine.
yahhs. so forget it-
i don't wish to say anymore*
" bestfriend...You are my bestfriend mah said until like that...I dun wan to lose you tis bestfriend. "
- ever wondered how hurting this msg was?
=====================
today went for dance,
then went ps to return uniform.
then to hm shopshop.
then back home.
that's my day -
=====================
so i guess,
everything sort of ended lastnight.
know how hurting your msg was?
i hate it-
i really really do.
because,
EVERYTHING I SEE ,
EVERYTHING I HEAR ,
EVERYTHING I DO ,
i see the YOU in them all.
MAYBE ,
it's my fault for telling you how i feel .
it's my fault for asking for your number that day .
it's my fault for coming into your life .
it's my fault for going down to longjohn's every single day .
it's my fault for making you call me everynight without fail.
whatever it is , it's just all my fault.
just what exactly is holding me back -
the msges you sent?
the times spent on 20march & 1april?
yes it is the both.
those msges who used to contain the sweet contents in it.
they are holding me back, yes they are.
the first phone call you made,
the promises you made,
everything you do.
are all engraved onto my heart.
right now,
i'm trying hard to learn how to breathe without you.
but no one knows exactly,
how hard it is for me to learn how to let him go.
it's just like losing any of my closed relatives.
it is.
because he had became a part of me.
he's living in my heart.
the feeling is choking me up.
it just felt so terrible.
i can break down at any single time of the day.
tears would just start forming in my eyes,
when i remained quiet.
when i'm not talking.
when i'm walking alone.
life is meaningless ,
because you are the meaning of my life-