No more choking on regrets t keep you satisfied,
This blog was meant t be happy.
This blog was meant for me t blog about th stuffs that happened in my everyday life.
Yet,
I had t blog about those things now.
I've said all tht I wanted t say.
Just cause,
I don't want it t be a regret after this.
Was it my fault that things turn out th way they are now?
Idk..
Knew how badly those tears fall lastnight,
cause you kept quiet?
How badly I want t put down th phone and cry,
yet I didnt, cause I wanted you t be on th phone with me?
And right now,
I wont do anything anymore.
Cause I don't know what t do anymore.
I was happy,
cause you told me,
"how do I declared it gameover even before th game started."
this was th sentence I've been telling myself for th whole day,
just t make myself feel better.
I tried t ignore th so-called replies you gave,
I tried t forget th slience you gave on th phone lastnight.
All this was just t make me feel better.
I got very bothered -
cause I thought you'd rather prefer your friends over me,
cause you never answer my calls,
cause we only meet each other a few times in a month,
cause we only spend so little time together,
cause of th things that happened during th very lastmin and resulted tht we couldnt meet,
cause I knew you were out with some other girls,
cause I knew you wanted t go t other girl's house and study.
But all was purely,
cause I cared.
cause I love you.
cause you're someone important t me.
Even before we really had th game started,
I blamed you for so many things,
I mis-trusted you many times.
And I guess,
you deserve someone better than me.
Cause I was way too demanding.
Th way things turn out th way they are now,
was cause of th mis-communications that happened between us,
was cause none of us wanted t speak th words we had in our hearts,
was cause both of us rather keep quiet than let th other party knew what we were thinking.
And still,
I don't blame you,
I never once did.
You were th first guy,
tht bothered t wake up t give me those morning calls,
tht wanted t bring me out t th beach,
tht used t tell me, you're gna sleep after me,
tht said you made milo for me,
tht I had your picture as my phone's wallpaper,
tht I told my mum tht she must approve you cause Iloveyou way too much,
tht my mum says, you're really a thoughtful guy cause you bothered t do those things for me,
tht my mum felt safe when she knew i was going out with you,
tht I brewed herbal tea for,
tht made me believe tht somehow, true love still exists.
I don't know what more t say,
cause some words can't be expressed out here.
Baby, I'm sorry,
I really really am.